@BaronessElsa

I had to hear – that he had travelled – when I thought him “too good” for me – with this insignificant coward – in Italy –

instead of staying clear away then they have sneaky and crooked ways – and make “business” out of their very crippledom –

I hate asexual people who make a great to do about a natural thing that they are not fittd for –

I must hate people whose instincts are not pure and compelling to make them act this way or that way –

How right my instincts are! For what I heard now – was just the thing – to disgust one like myself!

I couldn’t understand why – I felt not only indifferent – I felt hostile towards her – she disgusted me! I only saw her!

And now I had to hear – that he had travelled with a girl – I had once met at Dr. Phil’s -it was very much made of her –

for he seemed too splendid for me to get and – any way – I was Mrs. Tse! (We had been on a visit to Munich.)

But already there – I began to realize – that it was not dislike – but a sort of hate – that was hopeless yearning –

for – it appeared as a dislike for him almost attacking me!