@BaronessElsa

I was nowhere. I had nothing in my hand – all lost in this minute!

after my first violent outburst of contempt had subsided.

his splendor was extinguished – leaving a poor miserable fool or “aesthete”. I only felt bilious – looking at him –

My soul became rigid. I couldn’t see any more – I turned blind within me. I didn’t see this man – who had taken me from my husband –

or call it vanity – it is the vanity of quality – I call that pride – that it made me turn cold as stone all over.

when I just had gone through the tortures I had – was so schockingly affecting all my tenderest fibers – especially feminine pride –

To imagine this marvelously turned out young man – waiting before this little insignificant ninny’s door – a “Knight Togenbourg” –

who gave all on the chance of receiving nothing – as even in this case the danger had been!

he told me – how he had waited her final decision – waited before her door! Me – whose only relation to men was sex –

not as lovers – that was the exasperating circumstance – she travelled with him or his money but she could’t decide to let him have her!